By the Moon and the Stars
by lightning-inspiration
Summary: As of the 69th Hunger Games, the Capitol finds a Victor from District 5 by the name of Spark Galvin. Many are under the belief that the nightmare is over after the games, but for this young girl, that is just the beginning. Along her journey, she finds friendships, enemies, and maybe something more as well the biggest rebellion in 75 years. AU, Finnick Odair/OC
1. Prologue

_A/N: A very in progress work, had the idea and decided to go with it. Can't wait to see where it ends up! Now, it is not my first story, but rather one of many that I have had the urge to write, I just hope it ends up better than the last so I continue improving. Also, as an author, if you ever have any constructive criticism, I would be more than happy to hear it as well as any other comments, positive or negative, you have to make. I love knowing what I can do better or knowing some people out there are enjoying it. Either way, I hope you enjoy!_

_WARNINGS: Violence, gore, dark themes such as; mental trauma, murder, insanity, amongst other adult themes, and plenty of cursing. Also, this is an AU for a canon relationship being changed._

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is recognized by the __Hunger Games Trilogy__ by Suzanne Collins, nor whatever is recognizable from the movie __The Hunger Games__ or __Catching Fire__. I only own my original character._

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"Congratulations! Spark Galvin of District 5, you have won the 69th Hunger Games!"

Spark remembered the moment she had stepped into that tube as it took her to what seemed to be a guaranteed death. Yet, against all odds, she had won. Won is a word to be used lightly; she had gotten out with a heartbeat and some trace of sanity. She was no true winner, no that title belonged to the Capitol, the Head Game maker, and President Snow.

Her games were rough, as with any others. It had begun with 24 adolescents and ended with just 1. Spark Galvin was that one, the girl from district five winning with a wire trap and a knife to the throat. Winning in an arena of harsh climates, changing from snowy to desert in a matter of a few days, it seemed as though the Capitol truly wanted them all dead. Yet, a Victor was necessary and a Victor they got.

This title though, Victor, has so much more behind it than one can imagine. The first word that comes to this brunette's mind is murderer, followed by backstabber, bitch, manipulator, soulless, and always coming to the conclusion of monster. She was praised by the luxurious Capitol for killing others, for surviving the Games, for forgetting her humanity and moving on. But that wasn't just it; she had done so many things she wasn't proud of. Topping this list being how she had been the first to kill. Before the Careers could even get their hands on a weapon, she had found a knife and thrown it straight into a boy's back. From then, she had run, tears streaming down her face the entire way, horrified with what she had just done. He was only 13; he didn't know better, he didn't have a chance. She was the one to end it, assure him his loss, and she was the one to stain his body permanently with the gash in his back. She was the only one to blame. And the worst part was… she knew it.

But that is not where this story begins; no, this is the tale of the true nightmare Spark Galvin faced. The hell they don't tell you about; what the Capitol does to you after. This is the tale of how she grows, the relationship she makes, and the struggles she enters; one of a national matter, another being an emotional storm, the final concerning the heart. Yet all of these come in and out like the ocean's tide, unless it is the ocean's child himself that brings them.


	2. The Victor of the 69th Hunger Games

_A/N: And here is the first official chapter giving you the true beginning of her story. I hope it is exciting enough and again, any helpful hints, criticism, ideas, anything would be appreciated. For that matter, simply reading this makes me ecstatic, so do enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the __Hunger Games__ franchise. (Last disclaimer I'll be doing, two at the beginning should cover it)_

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Confused and alone, Spark looked around when it finally hit her. Slowly, her brain reached its normal level of wit and she reached an important realization. She had done it… she had won! She, the underestimated girl from five, could finally return to her family. She could remember what her father's sweater smelled like, the way her sister's dimples lit up her face, the feeling of being in her brother's arms. Her face transformed into a smile, her eyes sparkling at just the thought of returning home and she gave a big grin for the cameras.

It was then that her smile dimmed and it all came crashing down on her, she may return, but could they truly look at her the same? She had the blood of three others on her hand, and those were only the ones she explicitly killed. She was responsible for the life of every kid that had entered this arena and died, she had taken their one ticket home.

Her palms began sweating and her head started throbbing, all of the thoughts and emotions colliding. Happiness mingled with guilt, fear was crushed by hope, but confusion continued to engulf all of her senses. The din in her mind grew until she could hear a physical whirring. It pounded against her skull; she thought she could even feel it pushing her back.

A projected and much too stern voice then rang through her thoughts, "Miss Galvin, on the hovercraft." Her gaze whipped over to the man in all white on the transport vehicle. Suddenly, thoughts of murder and death flew through her sense and she began running at the man with the knife still in her hand. She would not die, and he was trying to stop that. His goal was to kill her, as hers was to him.

Her feet took her faster than her thoughts when she felt something penetrate her sensitive neck. She growled low as she felt it, but kept running until her calves began growing heavy only moments later. Suddenly, her legs felt as though they weren't her own and her eyelids became lead, gravity pushing her whole being to the ground. She didn't feel herself drop, but her vision told her she was on the ground, though that too was fading. With the last bit of strength she possessed, her hand jettisoned the knife at her target; the man in the white. Then, nothing.

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Slowly, light hazel eyes opened, and took in her surroundings before shooting up and trying to bolt into a standing position. Her gaze scanned for the nearest weapon when she heard a calm female voice calling out to her, "Miss Galvin, Miss Galvin, we are not here to hurt you."

The mad eyes of a seventeen year old girl forced into unfortunate circumstances stared at another woman in white, her hands in surrender and she could feel the woman shudder under her gaze. Yet, this woman continued speaking, "Please, put the syringe down. We will not do anything against your wishes; you are the Capitol's Victor after all."

Her grip slackened on the razor sharp medical utensil, until it fell from her hand. She tried desperately to use common sense, but she could only wait as the events played in her head. Reaping, goodbyes, mentor named Cationa, training, interview with Caesar, Arena, death, death, death.

A scream rang out in the small medical ward and she shook her head violently before taking a deep breath in and looking up, her eyes holding more than enough pain. Her voice was small and broken, something she wished would go away, "I-I just won the 69th Hunger Games, didn't I?"

The nurse, shaking slightly faced forward with a nod of her head and a little more confidence, but the fear was still obvious. At the moment, the new Victor was still unstable and she could do anything. Yet, Spark herself was realizing everything and coming to terms with it once more. Her thoughts were still jumbled and she gazed upwards at the pink haired staff member, "Is tonight the Crowning Ceremony?"

Her sharp intelligence, one of the only reasons she was still alive, came back quickly and she could only figure that now was not the time to feel, only to act and react. Not until she was safe and sound at home.

"Yes Miss Galvin, it is in six hours," the nurse returned, her stance shaky, but her voice still calm and firm. The tribute could only conclude that she was trained for this.

Without notice, the brunette took the IV out of her arm and carefully got up, her Arena clothes still on her and her hair still a mess, though she scanned her body. When she left the Arena, she was covered in bruises, scabs, and scars. Now, there was no mark she could see, her skin was a flawless porcelain, not even a freckle to be seen. Surely, this was the Capitol's doing, she did have to look perfect after all.

The nurse gazed at her anticipating any crazy outbursts. She hesitantly spoke after a few moments of silence, "In fact, if you would shower in the room at the end of the hall, your stylists will fix you up and we will give you a proper meal beforehand. Anything that you wish, you may have Miss Galvin." The Capitolite gave a small bow and Spark quickly left the room.

Her head turned to see the hall and she headed straight towards the shower, all of her movements seeming mechanic. Even as the warm droplets began streaming down her body, she stayed focused on anything but her emotions. A riddle came to mind and she continued to recite in her head, "I come in with the moon and never end. Many love me, a place for daydreams and pretend. Others claim I hurt, but I only ever bend."

The water turned off and before she could fathom an answer, her stylist waltzed in. Decked out in an over the top silver wig, heavy black, electric blue, and glitter eye makeup, as well as an entirely bejeweled dress, she screeched with her Capitol accent, "Spark darling! I am so glad you made it, I was in fact rooting for you the entire time, but more importantly, I have the perfect outfit planned for you." As she spoke, she tossed a towel in the tribute's direction, who took it and dried off lightly, mainly covering her naked body.

Without speaking, the stylist turned to her and merely motioned for her to follow with a flick of her dainty fingers. The pair came to what seemed to be a wall when Ecclesia, the stylist in question, pressed her manicured nail to a button on the wall.

The chrome wall slid out of sight and in front of her lay a beautifully made dress. The fabric itself was soft and peach, yet held shape and gave her the appearance of a princess. With its sweetheart neckline, ball gown skirt, and gold lace used sparsely, it couldn't be more wholesome.

As Spark gazed at the dress, the interviews came back full force to her. Her beloved mentor had hardly tried to help her and she was forced to use her own techniques, so she had decided to be the sweetheart of the Capitol. It had worked in the past, so why not now? Her persona was sickly sweet, sentimental, with a slight hint of playfulness and more than enough gratitude. The dress portrayed everything she had created and it was going to be her last push in these dreadful Games.

With a small smile, the once innocent girl from five turned to Ecclesia and nodded. Though the woman had no morals and was the picture perfect definition of a Capitol pawn, she knew her way around personalities and their matching attire. It was perfect.

Then, the door slammed open and three assistant stylists strolled in, heels clicking upon the ground and bright hair colors nearly blinding. She was forced into a seat and nearly every part of her battered body was taken a hold of. Her eyebrows plucked, skin refined, body hair shaved, head hair dried, but she returned to the riddle.

This continued for an hour when she felt completely plastic, the fake that the Capitol so longed to see. She was finally given a bathrobe and one of the assistants, Basil, chirped out in his tenor prattle, "We have a huge feast for you before you are dressed. Enjoy; compliments of the Capitol of course!"

He walked out of the room and one of the Capitol servants brought in a cart with too many platters to count and stood by the door. Spark, realizing her hunger, began digging into the food in front of her, she left no plate untouched. Living off of berries and dried foods for two and a half weeks made for a big appetite.

In the back of her mind, she was somewhat disgusted with herself, but shrugged it off and continued eating when her mentor came in with a large smile on her face. Cationa, the oh so kind previous Victor, looked at the servant and yelled, "Out with you!"

The servant boy hurried out of the room and Cationa closed the door, grimacing as he left. She muttered, "Avoxes," before turning to the girl of the night. The first thing her smooth voice could blurt out was, "Did not expect to see you back here. I can't believe you did it in fact, I guess a congratulations is in order, but President Snow will be covering that tonight. Now remember when you are on that screen; stick to the persona I gave you."

Her bored hazel eyes turned to knives in seconds, "The persona _you_ gave me? That's rich; I did all of this for myself, now please get out of my sight. I know, I know, you're the mentor, listen to you, but I just returned from hell and if you remember at all what your Games were like, you'll have enough decency to get out of here and let me be."

For the first time since the two had met, Cationa gave a small nod and she turned on her heel, nearly running out of the door. She resumed eating and tried to calm her mind, bringing it down from its agitated state. No emotion, not just yet.

Soon enough, the food was gone and she sat there staring blankly at the wall, the Games playing over in her head without truly thinking about. Her thoughts left her as the reel played. She fell within herself and couldn't attempt to think how long she spent like this.

Finally, Ecclesia returned to the room and mused, "Come now my pretty little Victor, let's get you in this dress and get this show on the road!"

The eyes of a murderer looked up to the heavenly dress and she forced a smile on her face, giving it the appearance of being genuine. She lifted herself gracefully into the gown and practiced her smile more. She gave a look towards Ecclesia, giggling like a girl in love before stating, "Shall we? I believe I'm ready for the Capitol and the Victory Ceremony I so deserve."


	3. The Fate of a Victor

_A/N: And here is the next so soon, purely because I am excited to get to the main part of the story. As you can probably tell, most of these beginning parts are introductory things, getting to know the character, setting up her story, etc. It will be picking up in this chapter though, at least some, and she will be meeting more loved characters in the next two chapters, if not the immediately following one. Once again, any sort of comments are welcomed and appreciated, and thank you all for reading! Special thank you to all of you that have already favorited and/or put it on alert! Enjoy;_

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Spark held herself with poise and elegance as she was led to the stage. Her heels clicked lightly on the floor as her dress just barely skimmed the ground and she prepared herself for the interview she was awaiting as well as seeing President Snow himself. She reminded herself, "Sickly sweet, grateful, thankful, do that and you can make it out of here. Most importantly; detach yourself."

She stood by the door that she would walk through to the stage as Caesar Flickerman went on with his introduction. She played with her finger nails as she allowed only two shaky breaths, before breathing in deep and relaxed. Finally though, someone called out from her left, "Five, four…" at that they trailed off and began counting on their fingers.

Three.

A smile graced her face.

Two.

Her posture became tall, but soft.

One.

She allowed a light laugh out as she floated onto the stage, the entire crowd going wild over her appearance, Ecclesia's dress surely a hit. She waved at them keeping everything about her dainty and honeyed, even blowing them a kiss as she approached Caesar who was testing out a pastel green hair color and his classic midnight blue suit that sparkled like the night sky. He began laughing as well and held out his hand to her. Lightly, she took it, only to feel herself twirled around.

Her own laughter filled the air once more and she smiled wider as Caesar spoke up, "Welcome, welcome, welcome one and all to the Victory Ceremony of the 69th Hunger Games! And of course, let us give a Capitol welcome to our guest of honor, Miss Spark Galvin!"

Spark took this opportunity to lay one hand on her collarbone as if touched and muster the most grateful look she could while keeping up her smile. The crowd screamed on, many of them standing up and lights flashing from every corner. She returned, "Well it is wonderful to be back in the Capitol, Caesar! I am so grateful that I had this opportunity to return and share my victory with all of these wonderful ladies and gentleman."

He laughed and signaled for her to sit; she followed his lead elegantly as he took his own seat. The two adjusted to where they were leaning towards each other while still comfortable. He then continued in his eccentric voice, "Well it is an honor to host a Victor such as yourself! And a Victor indeed, shall we recount some of your highlights in the Games?" He turned towards the audience, "What do you say?"

More cheers and yells filled the auditorium and all she could do was nod and counter, "Why of course, ask me anything!" On the inside though, she began putting up a barrier for her emotions, she would have to relive her Games once more.

"Well first off, how did you feel coming into the Games?" his eyes twinkled with curiosity and she wondered if his personality was all a charade as well. If it was, he was easily the best actor that she had ever met.

She looked in thought for a moment before answering, "I admit, I was very scared. I had only scored a seven in training, which is respectable, but many scored higher than I did. Yet, once I got into the Arena I simply let my instincts take over and it did me well. Now, I couldn't be happier because of it!"

'Always bring it back to the Capitol and your feelings now,' she reminded herself. He smiled and then asked, "Now, we all remember the moment when you got the first kill. It was so unexpected, so spontaneous, so fabulous!" He made a small yell of excitement before looking back at her seriously, "And what was that like?"

She racked her brain for the best response she could come up with. Finally, she took a breath in and returned, "It was exhilarating. The Games had just begun and I could hardly contain myself, it did allow me some reassurance to know that I could defend myself though and I had just as much of a chance as the others. I suppose more of a chance since I'm here."

He chuckled and mentioned, "From there, you kept yourself hidden, a good strategy if I do say so myself. Surely though, you remember the close incident with the girl from four. What was running through your mind as you fought her off?"

She swallowed hard. That was another moment she had tried to forget. The blonde haired, tanned, muscled girl from four, one of the years that District 4 had joined the Career pack. She had pinned her to a tree with a trident, malice dripping from her very eyes. Slowly, the girl had cut off her airway when Spark threw whatever had been in her hands at the time. Luck had been on her side as it had hit a scorpion bush, the venomous creatures beginning to attack the pair. As soon as four let up though, she ran for it.

"Well, lack of air doesn't let you think much," more giggles were exchanged, "but I figured that distracting her might just do it. And sure enough, the odds had been in my favor! I have to say though, that was one of my closest calls, something I won't be forgetting soon."

And so the interview went on, each of her responses carefully picked out and the audience as well as Caesar himself soaking up every syllable that she uttered. Laughs were traded, smiles from all, and the occasional cheers from the audience. But, the final question came at last, "So what do you plan to do when you get home?"

She nearly sighed in relief, a response she could give at least a half honest answer to. She answered, "I cannot wait to be with my family again, especially my brother. I'm excited to see my home town in general once more, though it can't compare to the Capitol. I think I am just going enjoy the spoils of my Victory and excitedly await the Victory Tour."

She thought to herself, 'Perfect. Exactly what they want to hear, never about the district, always about the Capitol.' She was, admittedly, proud of herself for getting through the interview and she did answer the questions as best as she personally felt she could. For this reason, the grin reached her eyes if just for a moment.

Caesar yelled once more, excitement on every feature of his, and he continued with his voice reaching almost soprano heights, "Ladies and gents of the Capitol, this just about wraps up our Victory Ceremony. But let us end it on a good note." He turned his tanned body to the left and Spark followed his gaze as well as movement. He then continued, "President Snow, would you do us the honor of officially crowning our victor? After all, no one can make the same impact you do!"

With an air of intimidation, President Snow walked out from the left side of the stage in a crimson red suit with a single white rose pinned to the lapel. It forced a shudder down her spine. Yet, the crowd didn't see things the way she did and they cheered louder than ever, giving him a standing ovation and yelling various declarations of adoration. He calmly spoke, a sense of control pervading his voice, "Of course Caesar, it is not every day that such an honor is placed upon a tribute."

He walked toward her, then staring directly into her eyes. His frost blue ones pierced her own hazel and she nearly lost it there, but kept her back straight. She became rather rigid as he walked towards her with a crown in hand. As she noticed it though, she tried to relax and return to her persona, succeeding only slightly.

Then a distinct smell hit her nose, first an effrontery of roses, sweet smelling and strong, but it was covering up something much sharper, much more metallic. It was then she realized what it was… blood. The odor was unmistakable, Spark herself being covered in it the past few weeks. He moved from her front to immediately behind her and she felt her entire body go stiff. He then whispered to her, "Excellent win Miss Galvin, I look forward to having you serve the Capitol after your victory."

From there, her eyes became sharp and her hands began clenching when she stopped herself, the entirety of Panem watching as she stood there and truly become a Victor. She put on a smile; feeling more forced, but kept it up as her curled hair was crowned with an intricate crown of gold and platinum metals.

She watched as President Snow walked out from behind her and merely opened his arm towards her, signaling for all eyes on her. This was it; this was the last chance she had to capture the heart of the Capitol. She beamed, her eyes crinkling as she forced her posture soft once more. She soaked up the moment and kept her thankful stance until Caesar announced, "And that is the end of the 69th Hunger Games with Spark Galvin from District 5 as our tribute! Join us in December for the Victory Tour and until next time, my lovely Capitolites." A fanfare played as the screen flashed once more with her face and the number 69 on it.

Suddenly, the lights went dark on the stage and she felt someone grab her arm and walk her off in the near pitch blackness. She tumbled over her own feet, not knowing where she was going or even where the ground was. It was over all too quickly though when she was thrust into a bright white room and the doors behind her were shut. All that lay in front of her was a crimson chair, mahogany desk, and another chair, closer to a throne, where President Snow himself was seated. He motioned for her to take a seat as well.

Hesitantly, she attempted to keep her smile as she sat herself gracefully down. The leader of Panem then commented, "You don't have to hide here Miss Galvin, surely you aren't all sunshine and smiles on the inside. I have an important matter to discuss at any rate."

Suddenly, her entire body slouched, her smile disappeared and her gaze became hyper aware, her emotions threatening to build up then and there. In an all too calm voice, he began speaking, "Now, I want to congratulate you personally on, whether directly or indirectly, taking 23 other tributes lives."

Her lips tightened into a thin line, her eyes cast downward, before she returned to staring him down, a fury beginning to build behind her irises. She struggled to keep her rage amongst other things down, her fists clenching up and knuckles going white. Yet, he went on, "But that is not the matter at hand. You may or may not have noticed, but the Capitol is simply entranced with you. From your movements to your beauty to your charisma, they can't have enough of the beautiful killer from five. I daresay you've been our most well received Victor for a few years."

He then looked to the desk himself, staring back up with a light behind his eyes and she recognized faintly the feeling of excitement in him. She could only wonder what would make such a sadistic man as him feel this way. He then spoke quieter, more threatening, "I have a simple proposition for you. You may either allow your beauty to go to good use in the Capitol's night scene or have everyone you've ever loved or cared for exterminated."

Cogs slowly turned in her head as she tried desperately to comprehend what he had just said. It was either her family's death or beauty, good use, her body….

"No! You can't do that to me! I won those god forsaken games, I killed and killed and had to still pretend to be the Capitol's pretty little Victor. You cannot make the Capitol's prostitute as well! I did everything just right, never so much as hinting at an opinion against the Capitol." she screamed at him, jumping to her feet and nearly tripping in her gold encrusted shoes. Yet another sign of this tyranny that they all suffered.

All the president did was laugh, a true chuckle as though someone had just mentioned something amusing. To him, this was all a game, watching others suffer as though he was watching children play ball in a field. A smirk graced his features and he said, "Exactly why I want to use your charm, after all, the good should be rewarded, should they not?"

She let out a light scoff as tears rose to her eyes, her quickly dissipating will power keeping them in her eyes and not in a puddle on the marble floor. Yet, she knew the choice was obvious, she couldn't let her family and friends pay for something that she could bear through. She stared past the devil incarnate, straight into the velvet looking wall. Her voice came out broken, raspy, and soulless, "I'll do it. Just promise not to hurt my family."

He merely responded, "The Capitol always treats those who serve it fairly. I am glad you accepted my offer, I would hate for you to have more blood on your hands." He got out of his chair, turning his back on her and she finally let her guard completely down, crumpling onto the floor. Her dress spread around her like a pink halo, yet she felt like anything but an angel.

"I will be seeing you soon Miss Galvin." And with that, he walked out of the room, leaving the remnants of a girl in his office.


	4. Consequences

_A/N: Hello there all you fabulous readers! Here it is, at least one part for this weekend. Just warning you, it is an emotional roller coaster and I hope I portrayed what it might be like to go through this well. These parts aren't as long as I would like them to be, but if I continue to update every one to two days, they will probably stay this length. But if it gets to once a week, they will likely be longer as I will have had more time. Oh, and next chapter we will be back in the Capitol almost definitely and Spark gets her first run in with another Victor, guess who? ;) Now, thank you to everyone for reading this and a special thank you to those that have reviewed/alerted/favorited, everything really does mean an awful lot to me! So enjoy;_

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Not too long after, someone else entered the room and Spark barely had the strength to turn her head. Upon seeing her mentor, she returned her gaze to the ground attempting to stop her tears in vain. All she could do was lay there and feel the hot drops roll down her face. The low feminine voice behind her spoke up, "Listen sweetheart, I hate to burst your bubble, but this nightmare never ends. You just happened to get the shortest stick. But come on and get up, the president is oh so graciously allowing you to return home at least for a little while."

So Cationa knew, or maybe she guessed it. She didn't care; all she could think of was what lay ahead of her. The fear of being passed around like a toy, never being human again, pervaded her senses. She didn't bother to try getting off of the ground when her mentor went and pulled her up. She wiped her eyes for her and led her out of the room. To be frank, she couldn't feel anything. She barely remembered entering the train, not to mention passing through the Capitol for what she had once hoped would be the last time. Maybe, maybe just maybe, those that die are the true winners because she; she had no hope to return to her old life. She was lost and alone, not living, only surviving.

A monotone electronic voice rang out, "District 5." Cationa looked at her as Ecclesia had apparently redone her makeup at some point as well as given her a simpler outfit. Her over the top stylist kissed both of her cheeks before saying, "Good bye sweetheart! I can't wait to see you at the Victory Tour!"

At the mention of it, she nearly retched on the spot. She thought, 'How I am supposed to do this? I am living only for my family and friends, I can't be truly happy anymore." Her brain continued to argue, "I have no choice in the matter; I can't allow someone else to die on my behalf.'

Cationa once more dragged her to the door of the train. She whispered, "You better start smiling unless you want the District to know something is wrong, and we all know what that means. The Capitol's ears are everywhere."

Nodding only lightly, she mustered a very small and very fake grin, but one that she hoped would be enough for those around her. The doors opened and in front of them lay a walkway to the Justice Building, then the main town square. From there, she could see a small crowd forming, the last Victor for their district having won over 15 years ago. She walked carefully past everyone, hearing voices, but not listening to what they were saying. She tried her best to keep a small smile and kept looking straight ahead.

Just as she was passing the small crowd though, she heard insulting comments in the background and her facade began faltering. She looked around her, truly looked, and saw most with disgusted looks on their faces and she knew why. She had killed those around her and hadn't even tried to help the boy from her district. She was a monster.

Finally, her face fell and she ran straight for her home, new home that is. At least there would be some peace and quiet in the Victor's Village. She only hoped her family would be there when she realized they were probably in the crowd she passed. But she didn't turn back; she couldn't if she wanted to, and kept barreling forward until she reached the third house of the square. She entered, uncaring as to what fancy décor it held and continued running until she found a couch.

It was then she broke down once more, this time letting it all out. She cried and yelled in agony, her whole world spinning and her only want to be dead. Her ears detected heavy footfalls and felt a pair of strong arms around her. Mentally exhausted, she did not try to guess who it was, but when she took a breath in it was second nature to know. It was her brother that was comforting her, with his smell of oil, smoke, and a hint of fresh paper.

He picked her up carefully, cradling her to his chest, and moved her delicately to the nearest bedroom. There he laid her down and she looked at him, feeling grateful, but tired. She croaked, "Newton, I missed you more than the world."

He smiled lightly, though it was obvious to see he was hurt by all the pain she was in. He took her hand and massaged it, before kissing her on the forehead. He added, "I missed you too, now try and get some sleep. You can tell us everything when you wake up, only if you want though. Whatever you want, pretty girl."

She smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time, a few tears falling down her face, but her exhaustion still encircling her. Without a second thought, she fell asleep.

She felt her eyes flutter open and she watched as the sunlight gave her room an ethereal glow. A feeling of content settled in her and she carefully got up preparing herself to go to the power plant for work. Her legs fell to the side of the bed and she got into a standing position, carefully redoing her covers.

She made it to the bathroom when she gazed in the mirror only to see smeared Capitol makeup caking her face. She let out a scream and fell to the ground, an onslaught of tears returning. She curled into a ball on the ground of the bathroom and continued weeping. She couldn't think, couldn't feel, the only thing that existed for her was fear.

It was a dark scary world that existed from her terror; always someone ready to kill her, always someone ready to take advantage of her and she simply couldn't handle it anymore. Distantly, she heard some voice, firm and masculine calling her back, "Spark, darling, please, listen to your father. Spark honey, everything is okay, we are here for you."

Vaguely, she felt someone embrace her and only then noticed how terribly she was shaking. Her whole body felt fragile, as if one wrong move could break it in half. Yet, more comforting words reached her ears and after what seemed like hours, she regained control of her breath.

Shakily, the Victor exhaled and whispered, "Daddy, I've missed you." She looked up and saw her sister Quanta as well as her mother gazing at her, while her brother was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Newton? I need Newton."

She began to panic and any thought process that she had loosely formed began to disappear, all she could think of was that the Capitol and captured Newton for something that she had done wrong, and she could never forgive herself if that was the case. She screamed, "Newton! Newton! Newt!"

Footsteps came running in, but there were two sets. Her brother came over and hugged her tightly and she felt her panic relieve slightly, but it still ate at her, devouring her chest. She barely registered that the other person was Cationa when she heard a voice, distinct in her ears. "Breathe in, one, two, three, four. Breathe out, one, two, three, four. Breathe in, one, two, three four. Breathe out, one, two, three, four."

She heard more talk, but the voice kept playing in her ear and she listened to its every word. In and out, in and out, her mind slowed down and she then felt something cool on her forehead. Yet the voice kept up, in for four, out for four. Inch by inch, she drifted into a state of relative calm.

Finally, she looked up to see five people around her, most of them worried beyond belief. Cationa looked at her and spoke up, "Spark, you just had a panic attack. Not to be a downer, but it most certainly won't be your last, so be ready." She turned towards the family, "Whenever this happens, make sure to get a cold towel and talk her out of it. It'll happen fairly often for the first few months. Then, it should happen less and less, though it won't ever really go away."

The previous Victor looked disdainfully to her side, surely in memory of her panic attacks. No matter how cold she may be, she could understand what it was like to be a Victor. Still, she showed her less pleasant side by commenting, "Have fun with your very own insane product of the Capitol."

Newton scowled at her while the rest of her family kept their attention on the 69th winner. Her dad gently grabbed her hand and asked, "Are you okay? Is there anything we can do for you?"

"W-water," she answered. Quanta looked at her, chocolate eyes of understanding making sure this was what she wanted. Then, the elder sister got up and headed to get the water. Her mother simply up and left so it was just her dad, Newton, and Spark. She looked up guiltily, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, I just didn't see Newton and I thought… I thought…"

She began shaking once more, the thoughts coming back and Newton quickly grabbed her, "It's okay pretty girl. I am here and everything is fine, we're all here for you." He gave her a smile and she nodded. Quanta returned with a glass of water and she said, "Thanks."

The four sat there for a moment, in silence, before her Aonis, her dad, spoke, "Quanta, would you help her get dressed into something more comfortable? Maybe if we take her to the mountains, would you like that Spark?"

She thought for a moment, a distant memory returning to her. It was of her and one of her childhood friends, Katia, running along the mountains near the factories. They were less of mountains and more of hills; but everyone called them the mountains. District five was flat for the most part. It was warm, sunny, a grassland with not much snow in the winter. Still, it was her home and she would never let herself forget that. She then refocused on the question and nodded.

The two left and Quanta smiled lightly at her before helping her shimmy out of the Capitol clothes. Noticing the hearth in the room, Spark quickly lit a fire with a switch, something she found to be quite odd. She then threw the outfit into the fire. It reminded her of too much pain.

Quanta, never one to judge, helped her into one of her old outfits, rough navy fabric pants with a simple red blouse and tie on shoes. She looked at her blonde sister and gave her a passionate hug, "I missed you out there Quanta."

"Me too, Lark, me too. It was hard seeing you in so much pain, but we are here now and we're going to help you," her gentle and soothing voice calmed her. Still, they exited her room and found Newton and Aonis waiting in the hall. Aonis spoke up, "Your mother said she was feeling… ill, so she won't be coming."

Spark had expected this; her mom had never been a big part of her life at any rate. She nodded and they all left the new home, taking an immediate turn to the right as they headed for the mountains. It was slightly secluded, still in the eye of the Capitol of course, but far enough away to be comfortable.

Silence fell over the group, when Newton tentatively spoke, "Hey, Lark, you missed it. Quanta here got her hair stuck in one of the power boxes. In the back of her head, there is a layer of hair that is completely missing!"

Quanta stuck her tongue out at him and she carefully went over, lifting up her hair to see choppy blonde hair underneath her long top layer. She countered bittersweetly, "I wish I could've been here to see that, too bad I was killing children instead."

Quiet fell once more and she couldn't help, but feel out of place. The others began talking, but she found solace in the sound of their voice. It was so familiar, so warm, so real. It didn't matter what they said as long as they kept the silence at bay.

And talk they did until they reached their destination. Her head spun around to take it all in at a pause in the conversation. In front of them were grassy mountains, 100 feet high. Climbable, but not without some effort, to the sides were power plants and fields, this was home. She took a deep breath in and finally felt relaxed. Even if it was just for the moment, she would be okay.

The front door closed and she walked straight to what she assumed to be her bedroom. The day had been nice, but after an hour she just needed to be alone. So she had gone on a walk, a very long walk and thought about everything. She had cried plenty, but sorted most things out in her head while on her own. The absolute terror that had gripped her remained, but she knew how to face it now.

She looked out the window once more only to see the sky turning dark and quickly. She lay in her bed and stared blankly at the wall. One thing today had kept popping up, how she was going to deal with her first… client? She hadn't been in a relationship before, only ever kissing a boy once. She was scared, how would they react? What would they do? How much pain could they put one girl in?

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks when a knock came on her door. She wiped her eyes and looked up, "C-come in."

Hesitantly, her dad entered the door and gave her a weak smile. He headed for her bed, sitting on it and looking at her like a dying animal. And as it seemed, she was just that. He took her hand and tried holding it, but she pulled away, feeling a little detached. "Hey sweetheart, I have something to tell you."

She looked at him curiously and her anxiety began rising. Still, she bore through it and nodded. He went on, "This letter came for you today." He handed her a snow white letter with the presidential seal on it.

Immediately, her eyes welled up and she began shaking. Her mind blurred, but she began opening it. With her hazy vision, she scanned the letter but only one part of it actually made sense to her. All it said was, "I will see you at the Capitol in one month Miss Galvin. Remember our deal."

She flung the paper across the room and her anxiety hit its breaking point. She screamed once more and shook like crazy, unable to control herself or any of her actions. Her dad tried to hug her and she went in survival mode. He was going to kill her.

She clawed at him, pushing him away from her and even to the ground with the adrenaline running through her. She had to get away; she needed to leave and now. She shot out of her bed and ran, through the house, far away from anything and everything. Her legs just kept on moving.

Finally, she remembered that she had to breathe and tried to take slow breaths in. She counted to four in her head, falling to the ground and cradling herself all the while. One breath in, one breath out, it was as simple as that. A simple task that was made ten times as hard by the Games.

She looked up as her breathing slowed down and found herself amongst the mountains once more. Here lay her own personal sanctuary. Her heartbeat slowed enough and she tried to block it all out, looking straight as the sun fell beneath the horizon. She simply wanted to die, if this was all that lay ahead, she didn't want to live to see it.

She was desperate. Within this fear, she started searching the area around her for anything lethal.

Her feet began walking when she started looking closer to the power plant nearest her. Closer and closer she stepped until she found a spare wire that was still sparking. If she just touched it to her chest, it would hurt yes, but it would be the last pain she would ever feel. She looked at it, feeling a small hope forming in her chest, maybe she wouldn't have to go through with this anymore.

Slowly she picked up and began moving it towards her chest when she heard in the distance, "Spark! Where are you?"

Suddenly, she felt disgusted with herself. As difficult as it was, how could she do that to her family? They loved her, even after changing so drastically, even after forgetting everything she's known, even after killing innocent children. They loved her unconditionally, how could she do this to them? She was truly a monster changed by these Games. She didn't deserve the family she was given, and yet there they were.

Suddenly, more voices were heard, "Spark! I found you." She felt her brother and sister embrace her. "Why didn't you respond?" His voice was full of worry and concern, something she didn't deserve.

She looked at him and for what was the millionth time that day, she cried straight onto his shoulder and held her sister's hand. All she could mutter was, "I am sorry, I am so very sorry. I don't deserve you, I'm so sorry."


End file.
